Saturday, 24 June 2017

Wahala Dey O



In a WAEC English Language Examination, Emeka was asked to complete the following statements & this was how he did:
1. He who fights and run away?
Emeka: E don surrender be dat, nah fear catch am.

2. A rolling stone?
Emeka: E no fit just dey roll, nah person push am.

3. He who lives in a glass house?
Emeka: Nah rich politician e go be.

4. A stitch in time?
Emeka: E go prevent further tear tear.

5. Birds of the same feather?
Emeka: Nah the same mama born them.

6. One good turn?
Emeka: Nah correct power steering fit do am.

7. A bird in hand?
Emeka: Weytin e wan be again if no be barbeque. Dem plenty for chicken republic sef.

8. Half bread is better than?
Emeka: Puff puff, buns or garri without sugar.

9. A journey of a thousand miles?
Emeka: Nah d person wahala be dat oh. Why e no enter car or aeroplane jeje?

10. He who laughs last?
Emeka: Get brain problem. Make dem check am oh, because nah beginning of madness be dat.

11. A patient dog?
Emeka: Nah beta hunger go kill am.

12. All work and no play?
Emeka: Nah bankers job be dat abeg.

13. Once beaten?
Emeka: Nah revenge go follow be dat.

14. A fool at forty?
Emeka: U never see dis country own.......Naija own start @50.

Monday, 8 May 2017

Time for handshake across the Niger




http://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/04/time-handshake-across-niger/

Time for handshake across the Niger

On April 29, 20173:44 am In News
By Emeka Obasi

The days of acrimony should be over, there is so much to give when the Igbo and Yoruba ethnic nationalities put aside the extraneous wedge between them. Our country cannot move forward in the face of rancour.


Those of us who know history must not stand aloof and watch the younger generation degenerate to the vile language that has taken over the social media. It is like there is an undeclared war going on. Every comment is twisted to paint either the Igbo or the Yoruba in bad light.

We cannot continue like this. Besides politics, there is so much between the Igbo and Yoruba. They forged positive links during the days of British Imperialism and worked together in the push for independence. All these cannot be washed away by this bunch of uninformed, foul-speaking boys and girls of the computer age.

Let us not take away the fact that Lagos, as the then capital of Nigeria, was bound to attract people from all over the nation. The Igbo in their usual nature, found favour in the Fed al Territory. The First university, located in Ibadan , also enjoyed a large concentration of Igbo brains.

It is therefore no accident that the Chinua Achebes, Emeka Anyaokus, the Chris Okigbos, the Emma Ifeajunas , attended the premier university. While there, they bonded with men like Wole Soyinka, Bola Ige and Olu Akaraogun. That friendship will never wane, those close to them know it. What some critics see is far from reality.

The Yoruba also found the East alluring. Alhaji Alade Odunewu, veteran journalist, attended Bethel College, Onitsha. Joseph Oyeleye Adeigbo, Clerk of the Federal Parliament in 1964, began his secondary education at Government College, Umuahia and finished at Christ the King College, Onitsha.

Professor Oladeinde Ogunbi was at Dennis Memorial Grammar School, Onitsha while Bankole Oluwatuyi spent time at Zik’s Institute in the same town. Lam Adesina, Sam Ajayi, Olajide Idowu, Abisogun Leigh and Kehinde Obanla, all members of the Constituent Assembly, 1988/89, graduated from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka.

Igbo professionals worked in the Western Region just as there were Yoruba workers in the East. My uncle, Dr. Nathaniel Obasi, was a Dentist in Ibadan. Festus Oladapo Shadare, began his career with the Eastern Region Information Service in 1952.

Two Igbo heroes, Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe, and Chief Emeka Ojukwu, grew up in Lagos and spoke fluent Yoruba. Zik’s children bear Yoruba names. In fact, some of his best friends were from the West. One of them, Chief Adeniran Ogunsanya, died in November 1996, shortly after the Owelle was laid to rest.

Benjamin Adekunle, son of an Ogbomosho father and a Bachama mother, was good in Igbo. He picked it from his Igbo childhood friends in the North and perfected it when he was in Enugu as Aide de Camp to Eastern Region Governor, Sir Akanu Ibiam. He also met his Ijaw wife, Comfort Akie Wilcox there. Michael Adelanwa and Sunday Adewusi, were at different times, Zik’s ADC.

Ibiam married a Yoruba lady. And that is part of the partnership between the Igbo and Yoruba. The third military governor of the West, Oluwole Rotimi, had an Igbo wife. The wedding reception was chaired by Ojukwu. The first civilian governor of Oshun State, Isiaka Adeleke, had maternal roots in Abia State. That implies that entertainer, Davido’s grandmother was an Igbo woman. The First Lady of Ondo State has Anyanwu as maiden name.

Not many know that Achebe had Yoruba in-laws. Anyaoku, and Prof. Vincent Ike have Yoruba wives. Ike as a traditional ruler does not have an Igbo woman by his side. The First Igbo Four-Star General, Paul Dike’s wife is from the West. Philip Asiodu’s better half is Olajumoke Pereira.

Asiodu lived comfortably in the West, no Yoruba harmed him as the civil war raged. His brother, Sidney, great athlete, was executed in Asaba by Nigerian soldiers. Many Igbo footballers stayed put in the West. ‘World Two,’ Tony Igwe, Austin Ofuokwu and Sam Opone played for the Green Eagles. Obisia Nwakpa lived in Lagos too.

In Biafra all through the crisis, lived Kofoworola, First daughter of Oba of Lagos, Adeyinka Akinola Oyekan. She was married to a Biafran naval officer, Nicholas Ohiaeriaku of Ogwuagga-Abba, in Imo State. What an irony that her husband was captured in Bonny by the Nigerian Navy led by Akin Aduwo, who like Adekunle, had an Ijaw wife. The Biafran remained a Prisoner of War until 1970. The Commander of Biafra School of Infantry was Captain Ganiyu Adeleke.

Those who want the Yoruba and Igbo to remain in perpetual separation know they are destroying Nigeria. These two groups must come together. There is a lot to share and much more to gain. Back to History.

The First Northerner to qualify as a lawyer was indeed a Yoruba from Ilorin; Ganiyu Folorunsho AbdulRazaq. Can you beat this? He was born in Onitsha in 1927, and attended CMS Primary School there before proceeding to Kalabari National College, Buguma.

Chief Ogunsanya was so much in love with the Igbo that as Commissioner for Education in Lagos, he offered scholarships to Igbo students. And his house address was No. 5 Godwin Okigbo Street , Surulere.

In the past we had F. Ebubedike in the Western House. Today, there are more in Lagos.

I have a lot to say personally. In 1983, I worked for Chief Awolowo’s Unity Party of Nigeria. My dad belonged to the Nigeria Peoples Party and was a local government chairman. I used his vehicle to carry UPN Party agents. He did not scold me for once.

Dr. Obasi bought property in Ibadan in the 1950s and due to the war, forgot about that investment. He died in 1999. Much later, his children went to Ibadan, discovered the land which was still untouched and sold it.

These things have to be exposed. Igbo/ Yoruba ties are deep. It is time to come together. Onward Nigeria.

Monday, 20 March 2017

THE NAMES OF ANIMALS IN IGBO LANGUAGE (NA ASỤSỤ IGBO)


1) Goat = Ewu (Male = Mkpi, Female = Nne Ewu)
2) Fowl = Okuko (Male = Oke Ọkpa, Female =
Nnekwu)
3) Guinea Fowl = Ọgazị
4) Chicken = Nwa Ọkụkọ
5) Turkey = Tolotolo/Torotoro
6) Duck = Obogwuma/Obogwu
7) Pigeon = Nduru/Nduli
8.) Ostrich = Enyi Nnunu
9) Antelope = Mgbada
10) Deer = Ene
11) Cow = Efi
12) Horse = Ịnyịnya
13) Rat = Oke
14) Guinea Pig = Oke Bekee
15) Squirrel = Ọsa
16) Dog = Nkita
17) Hyena = Nkita Ọfia
18) Cat = Nwonogbo/Buusu/Nwamba
19) Sheep = Atulu
20) Ram = Ebune/Ebule
21) Pig = Ezi
22) Lion = Ọdụm
23) Leopard = Agụ/owuru
24) Elephant = Enyi
25) Monkey = Enwe
26) Chimpanzee = Adaka
27) Gorilla = Ọzọdimgba (Ọzọ, the king of
wrestling)
28) Snail = Eju/Ejune/Ejula
29) Snake = Agwo
30) Python = Eke
31) Lizard = Ngwele/Ngwere
32) Wall Gecko = Agu uno
33) Crocodile = Aguiyi
34) Toad = Awo
35) Frog = Mbala/Mbara/Nte/Akiri
36) Tortoise = Mbe/Nabe
37) Vulture = Udene/Udele
38) Eagle = Ugo
39) White Ant = Aruru
40) Black Ant = Agbisi
41) Mosquito = Añu Nta
42) Grasshopper = Ukpana
43) Kite = Nkwo
44) Spider = Ududo
45) Praying Mantis = Okongono
46) Earth Worm = Idide
47) Worm = Okpo
48) Scorpion = Akpi
49) Butterfly = Ilokolo Ibuba
50) Cockroach = Uchicha
51) House Fly = Ijiji
52) Cricket = Mbuzu/Mgbaja
53) Bed Bug = Chinchi/Ogii
54) Bee = Añu
55) Crab = Nchiko/Nshiko
56) Bat = Usu
57) Millipede = Esu
58) Centipede = Ogbakuluu
59) Rabbit = Ewii
60) Grasscutter = Nchi
61) Owl = Ikwikwi/Iyi Ochi
62) Wood Pecker = Otu Kpokpo
63) Chameleon = Ugwumagana
64) Fox = Nyanwuruede
65) Fish = Azu
66) African civet = Edi Ura (a nocturnal animal
known to sleep all day during the day. Used to
refer to anyone who sleeps a lot)
67) Wasp = Ebu (Isi kote ebu, O gbakasia nya aru
wink)
68) Taylor Ant = Akpolide (Usually found on
mango trees)
69) Porcupine = Ebi Ogwu
70) Shrew = Nkakwu/Nkapi (Mole-like rat that is
known for its pungent smell.)
71) Eneke Nti Oba = Swallow (A type of bird that
hardly perches on trees when in season to avoid
being gunned down by human hunters)
72) Hawk = Egbe
73) Beetle = Mbuzu/Ebe
74) Periwinkle = Isam
75) Bush Fowl/Goose = Okwa
76) Stork = Okpoko
77) Boa Constrictor = Eke Ogba
78) Camel = Inyinya Ibu
79) Hippopotamus = Utobo/Akum
80) Iguana = Ngwele aghu
81) Tilapia = Azu asa
82) Eel = Ebi Iyi
83) Crayfish = Isha
84) Turtle = Mbe mmili
85) Egret = Chekeleke
86) Donkey = Jaki
87) Dragon Fly = Tatambeneke
88) Maggot = Ikpuru
89) Buffalo = Atu
90) Wolf = Agu Owulu
91) Sparrow = Nza
92) Parrot = Icheoku
93) Viper = Ajuani/Ajuala
94) Locusts = Igwulube
95) Galago/Bush baby = Ikili/Ikiri
96) Hog = Ezi Ofia
97) Bird = Nnunu (Generic name)
98) Gaboon Viper = Echi Eteka
99) Weaver bird = Egule
100) Cod fish = Okpoloko

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

N500,000 I gave Justice Ademola was my personal gift on his daughter’s wedding – Buhari’s lawyer, Kola Awodein

A counsel to President Muhammadu Buhari has absolved the president of any role in money the lawyer gave to a judge accused of corruption.
A witness stated in court on Tuesday that the State Security Service, SSS, was told that Kola Awodein, a Senior Advocate of Nigeria, gave Justice Adeniyi Ademola N500,000 in 2015.
The witness, Babatunde Adepoju, an operative of the SSS, said the information was provided to the agency by Joe Agi, another senior lawyer charged alongside Mr. Ademola for corruption.
Mr. Adepoju said the SSS did not investigate the claim and that he did not believe the money was a bribe.
On  Wednesday, Mr. Awodein confirmed that he did give the judge the money, but as a gift to a friend holding a ceremony.
“It is a fact that the sum of money mentioned was personally paid by me as a friend to Mr. Justice Ademola as a personal gift, as our custom well recognizes and demands, on the occasion of his daughter’s High Society wedding solemnized at the Cathedral Church of Christ, Marina, Lagos, on the 9th of May 2015, which I attended in person,” Mr. Awodein said in a message distributed by presidential spokesperson, Femi Adesina.
The lawyer added that he was “fully convinced then, as I remain today, that I could do no less as a friend of longstanding to fairly reasonably support him on that memorable occasion of his daughter’s wedding.
“Anyone and everyone who knows me would readily and unquestionably testify that I am and have always been a man of impeccable integrity on and off the Courts and that such a record speaks always loudly for itself.”
After PREMIUM TIMES reported the monetary gift from the president’s counsel at a time Mr. Buhari’s certificate controversy was before Mr. Ademola’s court, some Nigerian’s raised highbrows alleging the president may have been in the know.
“The allegations of the so called gift has to be investigated, as such allegations applies to Ricky tarfa. It would be surprising to find out that Buhari actually conceded to ‘gift’ the judge as these lawyers tend to do such for favours from judges and then surcharge their clients without their clients knowing what happened. The lawyer representing Buhari at the time should be questioned,” a commenter, Kayode Olufade, said in a  reaction to the story.
Mr. Awodein, however, absolved President Buhari of any role in the “gift”.
“I would conclude by stating categorically and without any equivocation that  ANY link whatsoever with Mr. President, or any court case or cases, of my personal gift from my personal resources delivered to Justice  Niyi Ademola by myself on that occasion or any suggestion whatsoever that it was anything but such a gift or that it ever came from Mr. President or at his instance or that I was acting, under any circumstances, on his behalf is most malicious, utterly ridiculous and in very very poor and revolting taste and most undeserving of any further comments,” he said.
Presidential spokesperson Adesina, in the short statement preceding Mr. Awodein’s also absolved Mr. Buhari of any role.
“Nigerians know that President Buhari challenged the elections of 2003, 2007, and 2011, up to the Supreme Court, and not once was he named as trying to compromise any Judge, though some of them were his schoolmates, or contemporary, at one time or the other.
“It is in keeping with the President’s time-tested reputation as a man of truth and integrity. Any attempt to sully that reputation is bound to fail, inexorably,” Mr. Adesina said.
The gift by the president’s counsel was brought to the fore in a bid by Mr. Agi’s lawyer to prove his client’s donations to the judge were not bribes to manipulate judicial process.
Mr. Agi is accused of giving cash and material gifts to Mr. Ademola at a time he had cases in the judge’s court in order to influence the judgements.
Mr. Ademola, his wife, Olubowale, and Mr. Agi are being prosecuted for their alleged roles in the scandal. All of them have denied any wrongdoing.

Tuesday, 31 January 2017

Who benefited from 'Ghana Must Go'

Sometimes when things are not going smoothly in a country, fingers start to point towards foreigners and minorities.

In the early 80s, Nigeria was going through a period of austerity. The government of the day had a brainwave that this austerity and gradual decline of law and order and other sundry negatives were caused by 'illegal aliens'

The government went ahead to strengthen its borders and deported a large number of 'illegal aliens'. The majority of those deported were from Ghana. The infamous 'Ghana must go'.

Since then, while Ghana is steadily improving, Nigeria has been in free fall. Today, Nigerians who were coming of age in the early 80s now send their children to Ghana to be educated. Ghana is a major tourist destination for Nigerians. Even some top politicians and business moguls go to Ghana to seek refuge until situation back home become conducive.

Foreigners are not usually the cause of the economic and social woes of a country. Foreigners and indigenes contribute to the overall success and failure of a country. There is no empirical evidence that deporting or banning foreigners improves the fortunes of a nation


Friday, 13 January 2017

Soyinka: If we do not tame religion in Nigeria, religion would kill us

Nobel laureate, Professor Wole Soyinka has noted that if not urgently curtailed  religious crisis and the attendants killing being witnessed in various parts of the country may ultimately lead to “unmaking of Nigeria.”
Soyinka spoke in Abuja at the launch of the book “Religion and the Making of Nigeria” written by Prof. Olufemi Vaughan held at Musa Yar’Adua Centre, Abuja on Thursday.
Vice President Yemi Osinbajo was special guest of honour at the event.
While lamenting that from the way it is being practiced now, religion “is more likely to induce anxiety leading to trauma rather than solace and the consolation of spirituality which many religions claim for themselves,” the Nobel Laureate noted that the people usually killed during religious crisis were the innocent ones.
“The sitting president of this nation, Gen. Buhari once said ‘If you don’t kill corruption in this nation, corruption would kill us.’ I would like to transfer that cry from the moral zone to the terrain of religion. If we do not tame religion in this nation, religion would kill us,” said Soyinka who wondered what would have happened if religion was never invented.
“I do not say kill religion, though I wouldn’t mind a bit if that mission could be undertaken surgically; painlessly, perhaps, under anaesthesia effectively sprayed all over the nation or perhaps during an induced pouch of religious ecstasy.  However, one has to be realistic.
“Only the religiously possessed or committed would deny the obvious. The price that many have paid not just within this society, but by humanity in general makes one wonder if the benefits have really been more than the losses.
While wondering on the factors that may have been responsible for the transformation of religion to a killing machine, Soyinka said it is no longer sufficient for religious leaders to disown purveyors of violence within their fold “for the simple reason that others who dissociate themselves from conduct which universally is condemned are themselves declaring themselves partisans of their own in contradistinctions to others.”
He also condemned the handling of the ethno-religious crisis in southern part of Kaduna State which according to Christian Association of Nigeria has claimed over 808 lives.
Soyinka was particularly galled by admission by the state governor, Nasir El-Rufai that he paid herdsmen responsible for the carnage to stop the killings.
Soyinka said: “What astonished me was not the admission by the governor but the astonishment of others at such governmental response to atrocity.
He added that people should not have been surprised about the open confession of the governor because such policy of appeasement has become the norm in the country.
“There was nothing new about it. If you ask why Gen. Buhari did not act fast enough when these events take place, which degrade us as human beings, well it is perhaps he has been waiting for the governor of that state to send money to the killers first for them to stop the killing.”
Also speaking at the occasion, Vice President Osinbajo said religion itself was not the problem of the country, but the crises arising from its practice. The Vice President noted for example, that while religion has contributed to educational development of Nigeria, it is also one of the tools being used by the elite to gain social, economic and political advantage in the country.
“The manipulation of religion by the elites has led to the problem that we are facing. Nigerian elite will use religion when it is convenient and at other times they may use ethnicity or some other form of identification.”
“National character is very hypocritical. When we are playing football, we all clamour for the best legs because we want to win. We don’t ask how many Muslims or Christians are in the team. When you are sick, nobody asks the religion of the doctor. We only ask about competencies.”
The Vice President, however said the relatively low rate of prosecution of those arrested for involvement in religious violence was not deliberate.
He noted that the country seemed to has a problem in successfully prosecuting cases of homicides, citing the inability of the country to bring those behind high profile murders to book as an example.
Also speaking at the event Catholic Bishop of Sokoto Diocese Mathew Hassan Kukah noted that religion had been used mainly for manipulative tendencies by northern elites.
“Unless we get round to defining what constitutes religion and in this particular case, the way and manner in which how the northern ruling class continues to use religion as a cover to perpetuate and subjugate the people, the problem will persist.”
The cleric said most reports of commission of enquiries set up after religious crisis in most parts of Nigeria indicated that such problems were usually set off by fight over economic resources and things not related to religion.
Others who graced the event include include Secretary to Oyo State Government Olalekan Alli, former Cross River Governor Donald Duke, Amb. Folorunso Otukoya,  Justice Ajoke Adepoju, Prof Hamidou Bole, Bishop Hassan Kukah, and  Sen. Babafemi Ojudu among others.
The author of the book, Professor Vaughan, is currently the Geoffrey Canada Professor of Africana Studies and History at Bowdoin College, Maine and a Senior Editor of the Oxford Research Encyclopedia in African History.
He was also recently appointed Henry Steele Commager Professor at Amherst College, Massachusetts.
Religion and Making of Nigeria is a well wrought and eloquently crafted analysis of the intriguing linkage between religion and modern state formation in Nigeria. Drawing on archival and contemporary sources, Olufemi Vaughan adroitly situates his material within the vortex of historical and anthropological contention over the religious antecedents of colonial and postcolonial Nigeria.
“Elegantly written, Religion and the Making of Nigeria is a truly outstanding work of interdisciplinary analysis that is likely to become the standard bearer for scholarship on religion and evolution of the modern Nigerian state in the forseeable future,”  Ebenezer Obadare, Professor of Sociology, University of Kansas said in his review of the book.

Friday, 6 January 2017

Most Beautiful Disaster

Beautiful Disaster.....

Ifeanyi Ubah Disqualifies Contestants At Most Beautiful Girl In Nnewi 2016 Because They Couldn’t Answer Pageant Questions

For the first time in the history of beauty pageants, no winner was announced, no queen was crowned. All the girls who participated in this contest were disqualified because most of them couldn’t answer the simple questions thrown to them. Majority of the girls answered the questions by blatantly saying “I don’t know” or “no idea” 

Some of the questions:

Q: Who is the founder of F.C Ifeanyi Ubah
A: No idea.

Q: Who is the Traditional ruler of Nnewi?
A: Thanks for the question, but no idea.

Q: Who is the president of Nigeria?
A: The President, the president the President of Nigeria is is is ehh ehh Dr. Mohammed Buhari.

Q: Who won Miss Nigeria 1987?
A: No idea

Q: When u look in the mirror what do u see?
A: Courage and confidence

Q: If you become the president of Nigeria, what would you do?
A: budget

During the native attire section when they were asked the creativity of what they were putting on, one of them said she’s putting on purewater cloth while another said she’s putting on cat cloth because “Busu” (pussycat) is her best pet.

The show has been postponed to December 2017.

I can't Shout please... LMAO