Yemi Osinbajo and the Typist

By Professor Yemi Osinbajo

While I was teaching at the University of Lagos, as a young lecturer, in the department of Public Law in the Faculty of Law, there were 3 typists in the department. The chief typist, senior typist, and the junior typist. Because in those days before laptops and personal computers, typists in universities had to do a lot of work and they were very important because you always needed to type all your materials.

When there was work to do, what l discovered was that the chief typist would disappear. He works only till 4 pm. The senior typist would be nowhere to be found. But a gentleman called Adereni the junior typist, who only had his school certificate, was remarkably hardworking. Sometimes I would drop him off at his home at 1am.

Years after I was working as an adviser to the then Attorney-General of the Federation Hon. Bola Ajibola, who later became a judge of the World Court. While in the court at The Hague, in the Netherlands, one day he called me and asked if I could recommend a good secretary who is hard working and could do long judgments. I had three options, chief typist, senior or this junior typist, but the junior typist at a time had only school certificate, he didn’t have any other qualification but l choose him. He got to the Hague, and typically worked hard and diligently. Every judge in the court wanted him to work with them. He later moved his family over to the Hague and got degrees and made a good living for himself. One day he remembered me and actually sent me a car.

Remember, whether you are hardworking or diligent in what you are doing or not, someone is always watching.

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Anambra, APC and that Igbo alliance

I have read from a few people who believe Anambrans should vote for Tony Nwoye and APC so that Ndigbo can form alliances and position themselves for the future.

The fact of the matter is that APC does not need Igbo votes to win 2019. Especially if Buhari is the candidate. All Igbo votes will do is give the APC a bigger majority. It will not change the current political calculation. The best Igbos can get under APC is what they have now, Deputy Senate President, or maybe SFG, which is by appointment anyways. Saraki and the North Central will not forfeit that seat until they complete 8 years, if you like elect 10 senators from the South East. 

For 2023, Igbos will have to battle the ticket with those who have been standing on the queue since from the SouthWest and North Central.

Besides, there’s nothing wrong in being in opposition at the federal level. Opposition is an integral part of democracy and politics. Buhari played opposition politics from the beginning and it paid off. Others will play too and one day will be one day. There needs to be opposition as we cannot all be in the same boat. Nigeria should not be a one party state.

Much as I hate to admit it, PDP is a safer vehicle to travel for Igbos than APC. They understand the party and the party understands them. With a little in house cleaning and the inevitable quarrel that will break out in APC, they should be well positioned for 2023. All it needs, patience, planning, pragmatism and propaganda.

By Ike Onwubuya

The Sad Story of Nigerian Lawyers

Bar Associations And The Sad Story Of Nigerian Lawyers—a one-paragraph lament

By Sylvester Udemezue

Gentlemen, have the lawyers` association (not) failed lawyers in Nigeria? If one says that Lawyers in Nigeria are the greatest hindrance or stumbling blocks to Lawyers in Nigeria, I do not know to what extent one may not be justified. But let me give a simple illustration, that’d explain this point.

The. NMA (Nigerian Medical Association) devotes all of its energy on planning and working for the welfare, security, comfort and improved working conditions of its members. Ditto for the NSE, ICAN, NUJ, NUT, PENGASSON, NUPENG, etc. Even the NURTW focuses mostly on how to advance its members` interests! But at Nigerian bar Association and its various branches, partners and affiliates, we have been busy dissipating all of our energy, resources and time, talking about the society, while saying and doing nothing about the welfare or condition of our own members and colleagues. The Nigerian Law School turns out an average of 4,000 lawyers or thereabouts in each year.

 

These graduates, after call-to-bar are immediately faced with the ugly situation of no-jobs. Those, the few, who manage to find jobs are paid like cleaners and beggars and handed the poorest and most pitiable of all working conditions, especially by their own senior colleagues. Then, when a lawyer goes on the mandatory NYSC, he is posted, as a matter of compulsion, for his primary assignment, to go and teach in a secondary or primary schools, for the entire one year, with the result that by the time he is through with service, he has lost touch with much of law. Only very few find themselves in Law Firms or in law-related establishments – the Legal Aid, Ministries of Justice, etc! Yet, when he passes out from the NYSC (from being a secondary school teacher) and begins to look for a job, he is told by so-called employers, especially his own colleagues who own law firms, that a three, four or five-year working (law practice) experience is required for him to be employed in any law firm or in any law-based establishment or legal department. Where and how, one might ask, would this innocent job-seeker get this law practice experience from if no law employer has hired nor is ready to hire him? Most of the few who manage to be taken in Law Firms are then abused, treated shabbily and paid peanuts by over 90 per cent lawyer-employers who themselves rake in tens and hundreds of millions of naira, and lately, dollars, daily, from clients. The rest of the young lawyers, usually called “the New Wigs,” is left to roam the streets and corners of Nigeria and of the earth in search of non-existing jobs, while some, usually promising, easily give up in the face of what they see as hopeless circumstances, foisted on them due to no fault of theirs.

What is more? A few female counterparts, out of frustration and or desperation, begin to take to some other trades and “callings,” including in some cases what is now widely known as “hustling” (you sure understand what this means) – all to make ends meet! Meanwhile, Court Registrars, Clerks, CAC, SEC and other government and non-government officials insist on bribes and kickbacks before they do their jobs for litigation lawyers and corporate law practitioners; Land Registry officials oppress, intimidate and extort property practitioners and colleagues engaged in conveyancing practice; police and other law-enforcement officials harass, victimize, dehumanize and brutalize lawyers on a daily basis; so many of the lawyers’ jobs are gradually being taken over and away by quacks under the guise of DIY (do it yourself). Recently, lawyers have even begun to be harassed or castigated for appearing in court to represent their clients —that is, for exercising their constitutional and statutory rights as lawyers— while the prosecutors, investigators and law enforcement agents who often mastermind these harassments and blackmail strive hard to obtain convictions (of the defendants) at all costs, in total disregard of universally acknowledged standards in criminal justice administration.

Lawyers are now afraid to honestly and diligently work for their clients! Moreover, most of us are aware that a large chunk of the biggest legal jobs in Nigeria (legislative drafting, etc.) are usually given out to foreign law firms, in America, Canada, UK, etc at cut-throat foreign currencies, while Nigerian lawyers, who are more often than not more capable and competent and of course willing to work, are left to fight over crumbs and pieces from the table of the non-Nigerian Lawyers!!! One may even ask a question, what has become of the Nigerian laws that say a person who is not qualified as a lawyer in Nigeria cannot practice law in Nigeria? Do those provisions not forbid giving lawyers’ job in Nigeria to non-Nigerian lawyers? Where is the NBA and its branches when all these are happening in Nigerian to Nigerian lawyers, to deprive them of their just entitlements? Now, as a direct result of these sad stories concerning the plight of the Nigerian lawyer, most lawyers remain unemployed or under employed, and so are not able to put shelter over their heads, and, if they manage to marry, to feed their families thrice a day; the single ones are more often than not rejected by prospective spouses on grounds that they’re poor.

If the employable but unemployed lawyer who is not able to pay for an office because he has no money, and who cannot find food to eat because he has no work, decides, instead of stealing or soiling his hands, to practice from his briefcase, he is called “charge and bail,” and is as a result badgered and demeaned as a common criminal or tout! Then, deeper inside the profession, the young unemployed lawyer is being told he has no right to practice law, even on his own, until he has paid full (annual) practicing fees and branch dues (before set deadlines), and that he cannot participate in Bar conferences and workshops unless he has paid necessary fees in full. As all these go on, every NBA Annual General Conference and each NBA Branch meeting, which ordinarily ought to focus, mainly, on discussing the way out of the myriads of problems facing the (young) lawyer, is instead, and most unfortunately and ironically, devoted to discussing “DEMOCRACY IN AFRICA,” “Fighting Against Corruption in Nigeria,” “How to Stop the search by Nigerian for Medical treatment abroad,” “Local Government Autonomy,” “True Federalism,” etc., topics and issues that have no direct bearing whatsoever on the lives, wellbeing, or welfare of NBA members.

NBA’s involvement in discussing these issues is not in itself condemnable, but to be preoccupied with only other people’s issues and affairs while our own house is up in flames is what is, with due respect, not only detestable and disgusting but also most deplorable and disheartening. What a pity!! Does one whose house is on fire pursue rats? The most annoying part of this disheartening story is that during campaigns leading up to every NBA elections, both at national and branch levels, all aspirants usually have one campaign promise and slogan in common: to improve the plight, and promote the welfare, of lawyers.

This shows that all these aspirants, every one of them, understand that most lawyers in Nigeria are going through real hell. However, once these aspirants are elected, and sworn in as NBA executive members, they, each and all (like the typical Nigerian politicians of the 20th and the 21th century) turn their attention away from these lofty promises and instead focus the whole of their attention to and concentrating solely on the usual things: CORRUPTION IN NIGERIA, DEMOCRACY IN AFRICA, SECURITY IN THE WORLD, WOMEN IN NIGERIA, RIGHTS OF NIGERIANS IN DIASPORA, etc., indeed everything outside and excluding the outstandingly dismal or abysmal plight of fellow lawyers in Nigeria. Yet, if one even honestly decides to search for these bar associations` contributions towards these other chosen areas, one could hardly see anything.

It is sad — so, so, sad!! Fellow Nigerian lawyers, sorry. Your governments and establishments (at all levels) appear to not fight for nor care about you; the general public does not care about you; the clients are stuck to you only when they have no alternatives; within your own rings, those expected to be your mouthpiece and to vigorously be in the vanguard of your emancipation from these ugly shackles, and to dutifully devise ways to create gainful jobs for teeming jobless colleagues, are rather busy discussing the affairs of other people and trying to solve other people’s problems while leaving the gargantuan troubles bedeviling fellow members and colleagues.

The question, then, is, what hope is there anywhere for our (young) lawyers in the face of this melancholic state of things? Should we not turn to God alone for help? My fear about this is that I have not forgot the time-tested wise saying, “Heaven helps he who first helps himself!” According, I humbly suggest that, unless and until we, lawyers, through our Bar Associations, Branches, Partners and Affiliates, rise stoutly to our feet, to take our destiny in our hands with a view to recovering our lost glory and improving our own lot in the Nigerian nation, no one else, anywhere, would or could do it for us. Besides, the time will never be just right, for us to retrace our steps and begin to take the bull by the horn in this respect, because if lawyers themselves fail to build their own dreams, other people would hire the lawyers, as they do, to build theirs. And, to borrow the words of Tony Robbins, if we continue to do things the way we have always done, we would continue to get the same results as we’ve always got. May God help us to help ourselves, as we help others. Amen! Ameen!! Amin!!!

Sylvester Udemezue (udemsyl@hotmail.com)

Posted by Ike Onwubuya 

MR. PRESIDENT’S REMARKS AT THE NATIONAL EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE (APC) OF ALL CONGRESS (APC), TUESDAY 31ST OCTOBER 2017, AT THE NATIONAL SECRETARIAT, ABUJA

 

Protocols:

 

 

May I warmly welcome everybody to this important meeting of our party’s executive body.

 

Let me on a personal note thank you all for your prayers and good wishes, which the Almighty Allah answered in the restoration of my health.

 

I wish to thank you all Party leaders for helping to keep the government running smoothly during my prolonged absence.

 

 

I would like to start by commending our Party Leadership chaired by His Excellency, Chief John Oyegun. The Chairman and I worked harmoniously during 1984-85 in a previous government. Happily, circumstances have brought us again to positions of leadership in the country.

 

I want to thank Chief Oyegun and his staff for steering the party in the last two and a half years. Sometimes it is easier to manage failure than to manage success - and a big success such as that we have achieved.

 

I must also commend the leadership of the National Assembly led by Senate President His Excellency, Dr. Abubakar Bukola Saraki and Rt. Hon. Speaker Mr. Yakubu Dogara. I must place on record the cooperation and understanding of the National Assembly including some non-APC members who rose above petty party interests and acted in the national interest.

 

My deep thanks also go to our State Governors who faced stiff challenges, especially their determination to maintain unity and tolerance among our communities. This is in the face of unnecessary politically motivated strife and violence. Credit should go to APC Governors for extending their hand of fellowship to their colleagues from other parties.

 

 

In my remarks to the Caucus meeting yesterday, I enumerated the progress that our government has made in the implementation of the programs of government and the Party Manifesto.

 

 

We can be proud of our achievements in the last two years, Boko Haram, Niger Delta, Regular Fuel, Improved Power, TSA, Agriculture and Fertilizer, above all, the knowledge that corruption will not be tolerated in this Government. We all know there is CHANGE.

 

Nigeria’s prestige has gone up, Nigeria is now credit–worthy, a clear testimony of which was the over-subscription of the Euro-Bond by 4 times.

 

Nevertheless, we are not resting on our achievements. I am quite aware of the challenges before us.

 

Last year I said we would re-constitute the Boards of Parastatals. I must regret the fact that we have not done so, for many reasons.

 

 

Some of us in this meeting may know I had given instructions since October 2015 for this exercise to start. But there have been inordinate delays through several Committees in an attempt to get the balance right and to make sure all parts of the country are equitably represented.

 

On the other hand I am keenly aware that our supporters are very eager for these appointments to be announced. By the Grace of God these appointments will be announced soon. Especially now that the economy is improving, we will have the resources to cater for the appointees.

 

 

By the same token the compressed Federal Executive Council will be expanded to bring in more supporters at Federal Level, with fresh ideas to be injected into the government.

 

Let me thank you all again for the commitment and dedicated service to our Party and to remind you that much more will be required of you in the coming months. I hope we can continue to depend on you.

 

If we keep united and rise above petty or personal quarrels we will surely achieve the desired CHANGE in the country.

 

I wish us happy deliberations.

 

Thank you.

Posted by Ike Onwubuya

Nigerian Airport Runways

I have said it many times that none of our airports is qualified for a second runway including Lagos. Our runways are underutilised; the total air traffic landings on the 26 airports in the country is less than that of Heathrow with 2 runways or Gatwick with one runway. 

The problem of poor maintenance culture that characterised our public infrastructure is at the height of our want for reckless spending. As I talk to you, none of the airports runways has periodic maintenance programs as recommended by the documents supporting ICAO Annex 14 for aerodrome's standards and that include the Lagos airport that has just been been hurriedly given certification by the NCAA in anticipation of its concession! This for me, is a risky pathway; a new operator of the airport would need recertification for the airports to meet its own operational standard which expectedly would be different from FAAN.

Culled from whatsapp by Ike Onwubuya

WORDS FREQUENTLY USED IN NIGERIA NOT FOUND IN THE DICTIONARY

🤓 *LET'S LEARN*

1. *Installmentally:*

This “word” is a favourite of many Nigerians, but, sadly, it simply does not exist. You won’t find it any reputable dictionary. The correct thing to say when “installmentally” comes to your mind is in _"instalments"_ or _"by instalments"_.

*2. Plumpy:*

Nigerians use _“plumpy”_ when they want to say that someone is chubby or slightly fat. The correct expression is _plump_.

3. *Disvirgin:*

This particular “word” is used severally on a daily basis, especially by Nigerian men when they intend saying that a woman has lost her virginity to a guy. The correct word to use, however, is _"deflower"_, because “disvirgin” is not a word.

4. *Crosscarpeting:*

This is a favourite of Nigerian politicians and political analysts alike. They use it when they want to say that a politician has dumped his political party for another party, usually a rival party. The right terms to use when describing this scenario are _"party switching"_, _"defection"_ and _"crossing the floor"_ and not “cross-carpeting” or “crosscarpeting.”

5. *Go-Slow 😗

The word go-slow exists, but not in the way Nigerians use it. A “go-slow,” in the peculiarly Nigerian context, is a situation in which road traffic is very sluggish due to vehicle queues. However, go-slow in the English language actually means _"an industrial tactic used by employees whereby they intentionally reduce activity, productivity and efficiency in order to press home some demands"_. When this happens, you say that work in the office, factory or organization is at a go-slow. The correct terms to use when road traffic is very sluggish due to vehicle queues are _"traffic jam"_, _"traffic congestion"_, _"gridlock"_, and (less technically) _"hold-up"_, not “go-slow.”

6. *Cunny:*

“Cunny” is not found in authoritative dictionaries, but it can be found in some slang dictionaries. Over there, it is a slang used to refer to a woman’s private part. The correct term to use is _"cunning"_ (which is used to describe someone that is being deceitful or crafty) and not “cunny.”

7. *Opportuned:*

There is nothing like “opportuned” anywhere in the English language, but that has not stopped its blatant use by all and sundry in Nigeria, including journalists and writers. The correct word is _"opportune"_. The word opportune is an adjective; therefore it has no past tense. An adjective has no past tense. However, some verbs can function as adjectives or adverbs in a sentence. These verbs are called participles and they do have past tenses. They are not pure adjectives. Examples of participles are fattened, amused, disgusted, mystified, overwhelmed, upset and bored. Be that as it may, opportune is a pure adjective and not a participle, therefore it has no past tense. Opportune means appropriate or well-timed.

8. *Alright:*

“Alright” is a misspelling of the term _"all right"_. All right is used when you want to say that something is adequate, acceptable, agreeable or suitable. To hardcore English language linguists, “alright” is not a word. However, its usage is gaining traction and it’s increasingly becoming acceptable. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary – which is considered the gold standard among American English speakers – has recently drawn a lot of criticisms for its permissiveness when it began indexing some otherwise colloquial and street language terms, including “alright.” Most linguists disagree with the gradual acceptance of “alright” as a word by the public and even the media, while those in the minority are “alright” with it. 😁

9. *Wake-Keeping:*

“Wake-keeping” exists only in the imagination of a few English speakers. As a matter of fact, there is no such thing as “wake-keeping.” The correct word is _"wake"_ and not even “wake-keep.” Both “wake-keeping” and “wake-keep” are ungrammatical.

10. *Screentouch:*

This bad grammatical expression gained currency in Nigeria and neighbouring West African countries with the influx of made-in-China stylus pen touchscreen not-so-smart phones in the mid 2000s. It was a novelty then; many in Nigeria had not seen it – or even thought such advanced technology was possible – before. So, they looked for a name to call it and “screentouch” came to mind, after all you just touch the screen and it starts working. In case you’ve still not figured it out yet, the correct thing to say is _"touchscreen"_ and not screentouch.

11. *Trafficator*

There is no word like this. Nigerians use it when driving and want to alert other road users that the driver wants to turn to either left or right. The correct term is _"indicator"_ as a sign to indicate that the driver is either turning right or left.

12. *Pensioneer”

Dictionary definition is “to seek votes in an election by promising higher pensions”. 

But frequently used by Nigerians when they mean to say “Pensioner”.

*SHARE AND EDUCATE SOMEONE*

Posted by Ike Onwubuya

"Who Destroyed Nigeria?

RESCUE NIGERIA 2019

"Who Destroyed Nigeria? 

PLEASES READ TO THE END

The defensive narrative in recent times especially from those who support the present regime is that "PDP Destroyed" our country and it will take several years to rebuild it.

However, if the above assertion is true, then a close look at the current political gladiators leaves us with no other conclusion than to admit that Nigeria is very far from the desired change.

1. *Sen. Pres. Bukola Saraki. PDP Governor for 8yrs and PDP Senator for over 3 yrs.* He joined APC in 2014. Now the Senate President.

2. *Speaker Yakubu Dogara. Two-term PDP House of Rep member.* Joined APC in 2014 and elected for a third time in 2015. Now the Speaker.

3. *VP Atiku Abubakar. Nigeria's PDP Vice-President for 8yrs* and presently an APC Elder statesman.

4. *Sen. Victor Ndoma-Egba. PDP Senator for 12yrs.* Decamped to APC in 2015. He is the serving Chairman, NDDC Board.

5. *Sen. Heineken Lokpobiri. Two-term PDP Senator from Bayelsa State.* Decamped to APC after the 2015 elections. He is a serving Minister of the Republic.

6. *Sen. Ita Enang. Two-term PDP Senator from Akwa-Ibom.* Joined APC before the 2015 elections. Presently the SSA to the President on NASS.

7. *Gov. Samuel Ortom. Benue State Secretary of the PDP, Former National Auditor of the PDP and former PDP Minister.* Joined APC in December 2014. Now Governor of Benue State.

8. *Sen. Barnabas Gemade. Founding fathers of the PDP, former National Chairman of the party and Senator from 2011.* Joined APC in December 2014. Now APC Senator.

9. *Gov. Atiku Bagudu. A two-term PDP Senator from Kebbi.* Now APC Governor of Kebbi State.

10. *Gov. Aminu Tambuwal. Former PDP Speaker House of Reps.* Joined APC in 2014. Now Governor of Sokoto State.

11. *Sen. Abdullahi Adamu. Two-term PDP Governor of Nasarawa state and Senator from 2011-2014*. Now APC Senator.

12. *Sen. Danjuma Goje. Two-term PDP Governor of Gombe State and Senator in 2011- 2014*. Now APC Senator.

13. *Hon. Dakuku Peterside. Was a PDP Rep member from Rivers State.* Now the DG of NIMASA.

14. *Sen. Rabiu Kwankwaso. Two-term PDP Governor of Kano State and former Minister of Defence.* Now APC Senator.

15. *Hon. Rotimi Amaechi. Former PDP Speaker of the Rivers State House of Assembly. Two-term PDP Governor of Rivers.* Now APC Minister of the Republic.

16. *Gov. Rochas Okorocha. Special Adviser to PDP's Pres. Obasanjo. Became the Governor of Imo under APGA's platform.* Now APC Governor of Imo State.

17. *Sen. George Akume. Two-term PDP Governor of Benue State and Senator in 2007.* Now APC Senator.

18. *Gov. Nasir El-Rufai. Former FCT Minister under Pres. Obasanjo.* Now APC Governor of Kaduna State.

19. *Gov. Bello Masari. PDP Speaker of the House of Reps in 2003.* Now APC Governor of Katsina State.

20. *Sen. Adamu Aliero. Two-term PDP Governor of Kebbi State and Senator in 2007. Later became FCT Minister under Pres. Yar'Adua.* Now APC Senator.

21. *Sen. Udoma Udo Udoma. Two-term PDP Senator from Akwa-Ibom State.* Now APC Minister of Budget & National Planning.

Now, *apart from Atiku, all the above are holding sways in this regime. *They all played a part in the 16yrs of "PDP destruction"*

So, how can this same people that plunder PDP but somehow are now members of the APC "rebuild" Nigeria. Wow!

Therefore, my submission is that *PDP did NOT destroy Nigeria but the Nigerian people destroyed Nigeria*.

*Hence, the need to vote candidates/people in 2019, not party.* The *personality is the issue and not APC, PDP, APGA or LP.*

In view of the above submission, "change" is still pipeline dream in this country. Since these people are part of a problem, they definitely can't be part of the right solution. Our politicians lack credibility and have nothing to offer us anymore. They jump ship as soon as they discover where the pendulum of victory is swinging without minding the consequences of his action on the subjects. These same set of people are the big stakeholders in this government. So, the President is helpless. He can achieve very little or nothing with these corrupt politicians around him.

Therefore, for true change come 2019, we have a duty to vote them out and youths must not help them rig election. Let's create a new Nigeria where patriotism, sound ideology and Nigerians will be would be the focus of our political leaders and not personality. Agenda 2019.

DO NOT RECYCLE CORRUPTION. MAKE SURE THAT ALL FORMER GOVERNORS, MINISTERS AND LEGISLATORS ARE VOTED OUT.

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